Oh. My. Gawd. [Politics]

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 06/11/2020 at 09:39 • Filed to: Politics

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This is an official Trump campaign poll. I have no words. It reads like a s atire pie ce.

https://www.donaldjtrump.com/landing/2020-trump-vs-dem-poll

E90M3 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 09:43

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It’s an echo chamber, much like oppo at times. 

Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 09:45

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The Trump campaign just hired a guy to run poles for him who was off by 40 points  in the last campaign he was apart of.

These are the kind of questions you need to ask to get even close to the positive results that Trump wants to see.

His campaign sent a cease and desist to CNN yesterday cause they didnt like the poll that showed him losing lol

I also love that this implies these problems are still in full swing and are unsolved due to the current climate even though his is literally the president right now and had both chambers of congress for half that stint.

jminer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 09:46

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This is a textbook example of a biased poll. I saw an article last night that seemed insane - the Trump campaign sent a cease and desist letter to CNN about reporting on a poll noting he was behind in the polls...

Just fuck this year - all of it

ttyymmnn > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 09:46

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Every day, when I think they’ve gone as low as they can, they surprise me and set the bar even lower. 

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 09:47

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Some Pinko Commie

3point8isgreat > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 06/11/2020 at 09:48

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Him lashing out against the CNN poll is hilarious.  I read about that and just thought “YOU are complaining about polls with unfair or misleading questions?  Have you seen the polls your crew sends out?”

facw > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 06/11/2020 at 09:48

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Yeah, that’s the funny thing. In 2016 Trump could tell people that only he could fix it, and that he had secret plans for dealing with everything. In 2020, after being president for almost four years, people really should be asking “so if you’re so great, why haven’t you fixed all this stuff yet? ”

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > ttyymmnn 06/11/2020 at 09:48

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If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/11/2020 at 09:50

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I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 09:51

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Can’t do bad in polls if you sue media who run polls saying you’re doing bad

ttyymmnn > 3point8isgreat 06/11/2020 at 09:51

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His lashing out at CNN polls isn’t hilarious, it’s dangerous. 

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 09:52

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On the upside...no wrong answer is possible.

UserNotFound > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 09:53

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Damn I filled it out hoping they’d show live poll results ...

Did you see they sent a cease & d esist letter to CNN demanding an apology for showing a poll result that showed Biden ahead of Trump?

https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/10/politics/trump-campaign-cnn-poll/index.html

TheJWT > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 09:54

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(B),(B),(B),(B),(B)

Nibby > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 09:54

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you can A - pick a rapist 2020

or

B - VOTE SCOOB/NIBBY 2020

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 09:55

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30 years old and it could be a theme song or it could be a piss take...

MonkeePuzzle > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 09:56

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i mean... #5 shows how they’re missing the point. We kinda want taxes to be raised (for the richers).

otherwise, this all just feels like the sort of trap question a wife would ask a husband on a 90s sitcom
“do you think that other woman is pretty? and if you say no does that mean you dont think I’m pretty?”

Wacko > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 09:58

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America is past the point of no return.

You had a good run guys...

facw > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 10:02

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I mean they’ve been doing this since day one. It’s obviously not supposed to be producing accurate polling data.

On the hand it would be pretty funny to see this stuff incorporated into 538's pollster ratings (they might have to make up a grade worse than F): https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/pollster-ratings/

Svend > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 10:04

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What’s a really sad testament is that many of what they’ve come up with as the worst options are still better than the trumpie option. 

Snuze: Needs another Swede > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 10:07

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Well this is confusing, I thought there was only 1 Democratic candidate...

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > facw 06/11/2020 at 10:08

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(at the grave risk of getting bricks thrown at me, I have to point out that his 2016 campaign was so Grade School Simplistic that Trump really only talked about four issues that he’d work on... It was Paint-By-Numbers unsophisticated, but got enough votes in the right states to win. Almost comic-book ridiculously Dumbed-Down.... But it was enough. And, he actually accomplished three of the four and came within a vote on the fourth.)

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Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 10:10

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These have been around for a while. Every time I see one I think what the fuck are we living in 1950’s Russia? Well maybe there is some truth to that.

nermal > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 06/11/2020 at 10:10

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I’m amazed at how much faith is still put in polls, especially given how wrong they were the last time:

nermal > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 10:15

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The 404'd page is still the best part of Trump’s website:

https://www.donaldjtrump.com/covfefe

facw > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 10:22

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I’m not sure what your list of four things are but beyond his tax cuts for the rich, it’s difficult to see what he’s accomplished. Among some other key objectives:

The wall: He got construction started, but we are looking at having around 200 miles of fairly easily bypassed wall instead of the 2000 mile impenetrable deal that he promised. And Mexico is most certainly not paying for it (most money has been robbed from the military).

Muslim ban: He banned some? But nothing like a complete ban (thankfully)

Repeal and R eplace Obamacare: Well he almost got it repealed, but he’s never even hinted at his “much less expensive and much better” replacement plan.

Bringing back American jobs: Basically nothing here. His trade wars hurt American manufacturing. Companies continued to move overseas. He got a new NAFTA, but everyone agrees it is more or less the same as the old NAFTA.

New tariffs: We got some of these, but besides his destructive trade war with China, he’s mostly used them against US allies rather than bad actors.

Infrastructure: Basically nothing, but hey maybe it’s Infrastructure Week again?

New Iran Deal: Well he blew up the old one, but he’s (of course) failed miserably to negotiate a new one, leaving us in a much worse place than we were.  

Protect Social Security: Trump hasn’t hurt Social Security yet, but not for lack of trying.

Attacking ISIS: He did do this I guess (though there was basically no change from what Obama was doing). He did not take their oil as he had promised (which was of course a dumb idea in the first place) .

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > nermal 06/11/2020 at 10:24

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For 95% of people, i t was a sure thing that she would win.

VincentMalamute-Kim > Nibby 06/11/2020 at 10:29

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So you were never convicted, eh?

WilliamsSW > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 10:31

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Who do you think would make a better President?

 Donald Trump

 Literally anyone else

Nibby > VincentMalamute-Kim 06/11/2020 at 10:33

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what?

VincentMalamute-Kim > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 10:35

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This isn’t a real poll. They’re doing what they’re so good at; childish insults that their base understands and gets fired up for.

This gives them yet another platform to call Biden a ‘lying, thieving, radical socialist who will steal your first born while you sleep’. Looks professional and ‘scientific’ and therefore must be true to their base .

I’m surprised they left out ‘anti-2nd amendment’ Democrat

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > facw 06/11/2020 at 10:42

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Nah, that list is way too detailed. In essence, his rallies only focused on four areas. Enough people were worried about those four to get him elected.

(BTW, your view on the border changes completely under-sells the actual on-the-ground difference in fencing-procedures-enforcement out here. I’m only 4 miles from Mexico as I write this and I assure you, despite Pelosi’s “not a dime” pledge, the actual positive impact out here is amazing. I feel far safer right now than I would be back at home in LA, or certainly NYC or Seattle at this moment. There is simply no comparison between 2015 and 2020 in that regard. Night and day difference. )

I still think he’s nutty, BTW, but seeing the other party do what they’ve done so far this cycle?  Makes me think they didn’t learn from 2016.

nerd_racing > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 10:46

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MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 10:49

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What does Trump have against MS-13 ?

Dusty Ventures > 3point8isgreat 06/11/2020 at 10:58

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Did you see the Fox News survey options on Trump’s response to covid?

nerd_racing > Nibby 06/11/2020 at 11:01

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or vote 3rd party... 

3point8isgreat > Dusty Ventures 06/11/2020 at 11:11

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I had not.  With a poll that one sided, you practically have to assume that anyone who is capable of responding and doesn’t thinks the opposite of your options.

DipodomysDeserti > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 11:15

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Did you grow up here? I’ve lived my whole life close to the border and never felt afraid of anything coming from Mexico. Even in a city like El Paso, which borders notoriously dangerous Juarez, I’d be more concerned about some racist shooting up a mall than the cartels doing anything to me.

The cartels have been tunneling under the wall in San Diego and the walls in Arizona for years. I’m guessing you’re new to the SW if you think the walls will stop anything dangerous . That or brown people scare you.

DipodomysDeserti > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/11/2020 at 11:17

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Big difference would be that everyone in ‘50s Russia knew they were bullshit.

Dusty Ventures > 3point8isgreat 06/11/2020 at 11:22

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“100% of respondents to our survey  say they approve of the president’s handling of the virus”

Jb boin > nermal 06/11/2020 at 11:31

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SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > DipodomysDeserti 06/11/2020 at 11:34

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Two oldest were born here in AZ, so yeah, quite a bit of experience. One son’s working in federal law enforcement along the border currently so has eyes on the scene.

El Paso has always been a pretty safe city, so that’s a fair point.

OTOH, you used the word “cartel” not me.

My only point is that the enforcement is way up, crime is down and CBP activity is highly visible. We no longer have guys hauling backpacks of “whatever” through the neighborhood.

And, the CBP guys ON THE GROUND were very supportive of enhanced fencing, which is helping a lot (according to, you know, ACTUAL CBP agents down here on the border)... The stretches between El Paso and Douglas were badly needed and are making a difference. That’s been built , thankfully, despite Pelosi’s pandering to people that don’t deal with it day-in and day-out. She doesn’t think we need the Second Amendment, either, but I guess life looks different when you live in a penthouse with two $25,000 refrigerators. When the average police response time averages over an hour and you’re seeing multiple rattlesnakes a week? Your perspective changes.

YMMV 

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 11:36

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I feel far safer

I thought feelings were for the libturds? lol

But seriously, I would like to see some actual data to back this up. I used to live fairly close to the border in AZ before Trump  and never felt it was unsafe even then.

The wall was touted as stopping illegal drugs and immigration yet a vast majority of both go through ports of entry so a wall doesn’t really do anything.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Dusty Ventures 06/11/2020 at 11:37

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Are they still trying to push the “Wuhan Virus” name?

ttyymmnn > facw 06/11/2020 at 11:40

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Successes: Dismantling protections for the environment, protecting fro-profit universities, weakening laws that protect victims of sexual assault.

So it’s not all policy failures. Give the guy a little bit of credit. 

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 06/11/2020 at 11:40

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Maybe. But the regular sight of “guys with big backpacks” trooping northward through the edge of the development (we’re all each on 10-20 Acres out here)? That’s gone away.

And, the greater visibility of the CBP, and the checkpoints, is re-assuring.

YMMV. It’s not like we were cowering in our “safe rooms” but it’s nice to see uniforms on the roads and at the checkpoints.

Dusty Ventures > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 06/11/2020 at 11:43

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I don't think so? This was from a month or two ago

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 11:44

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Glad it’s helping then. It just seems like a massive waste of tax payer money for little gain.

ttyymmnn > facw 06/11/2020 at 11:45

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Another success: Doing more to help Russia destroy NATO and traditional European alliances than Putin could have ever hoped for. 

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > ttyymmnn 06/11/2020 at 11:55

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None of those were “rally cries”.

for completeness? The four that were hammered on...

Tax Code Broken— ( so multi-nationals had hundreds of billions in profits parked off-shore to avoid a broken US tax code.)

Disadvantageous Trade Deals

Border Security and Immigration Policy

ACA.

DipodomysDeserti > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 12:15

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I used to shoot with friends who were CBP agents near Sierra Vista every weekend when I lived in Tucson (free federally supplied ammo!). That was in the middle of the cartel war. I backpacked a lot in the desert of southern Arizona back then and would go to the outskirts of Tijuana and Juarez to build houses. Saw a lot of shit, but figured if America wanted to keep fighting a war on drugs, that’s what we’ll have to deal with. Got stopped by Mexican marines on a few occasions. I always found it funny that I could travel with fewer checkpoint in northern Mexico than Southern California.

For whatever reason my armed to the gills federal agent friends were always a lot more scared of things than those of us who decided not to be cops.

I guess that’s still the case. Explains a lot.

I never really pay attention to anything Californian politicians say. It wouldn’t be difficult for me to keep my guns safe if need be. My cop friends might even help me. They have no problem breaking laws they don’t agree with.

People carrying drugs...real scary stuff. Not sure why you’d need a gun or Nancy Pelosi for rattlesnakes. My nine year-old knows how to deal with them on her own.

I’m guessing you’re a California transplant. There’s a limit on how many times you can mention Nancy Pelosi in Arizona. If you reach the limit I’ll have to initiate Arizona deportation proceedings. Arizona CBP aren’t nearly as timid as the feds. ; )

-this is mostly a light hearted post. The stuff about my CBP friends is real. Good ammo, too. Can’t remeber if they were gold dots or hydroshocks.

facw > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 06/11/2020 at 12:16

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The White House covid committee hasn’t had a conference in a month. It seems like we’ve largely moved out of bl a me China mode and into pretend the pandemic isn’t happening mode.

fintail > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 12:52

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He knows how to aim to his base. Either fundy nutjobs who think he was chosen by jeeeeeezus, the selfish “I got mine, you can go fuck yourself” set who just wants less taxes no matter the consequences, or the depl orables who just want to screw someone over.

fintail > jminer 06/11/2020 at 12:53

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I’m glad that CNN effectively said “go fuck yourself” to the mostest corruptest regime evah.

fintail > E90M3 06/11/2020 at 12:54

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The difference is, this one is mostly correct.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > fintail 06/11/2020 at 12:55

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Dunno. He found 63 million of them. I’m not sure they all fit into that neat, foam-hat bucket...

He should be easy to beat.  The polls all say he’s going to lose, right?

fintail > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 12:59

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You may “feel”, but do you have anything to back that up?    

What do you think will happen to a rando walking around LA or NYC or Seattle that you need to protect yourself from and that you are immune from there?

Stop playing devil’s advocate for the wrong side of history, it won’t age well and it isn’t a good look.

fintail > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 13:02

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Oh really?  Then tell me what else they fit into?  Contrarian Berniebros?    Luckyboomers who haven’t taken enough and want just a little more?  Please explain.

One also has to know how to play the game required by the 18th century electoral college relic, the Dems messed that one up.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > DipodomysDeserti 06/11/2020 at 13:03

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Send your 9-year-old over the next time I drop a wrench under my Corvette and the rattler starts doing that “sidewinder” crazy motion they do...

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > fintail 06/11/2020 at 13:07

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Sure, statistically, the regular sight of “guys with big backpacks” trooping northward through the edge of the development (we’re all each on 10-20 Acres out here)? That’s gone away relative to 2-3 a week 10 years ago.

Meanwhile, my friend in Santa Monica was completely freaked out by the active shooters (“during the peaceful demonstrations”) less than a half mile from her $3M house the other day...

YMMV, but out here?  The county sheriff is at least an hour away.  Be advised.

fintail > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 13:09

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Ah some anecdotes, I see. And nothing about LA (proper) , NYC, or Seattle.

Condolences to your friend, my heart weeps.

No plans to move to the land of Sheriff Joe, you can keep it.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > fintail 06/11/2020 at 13:12

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fintail > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 13:15

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Yeah, so did Jim Crow laws.

You got yours, fuck everyone else.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > fintail 06/11/2020 at 13:17

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Ah, you’re right. Nothing happened. My apologies— how dare I mention personal experience in “matters of science”

Maybe you should stick to your old Mercedes, though . That seems to be your wheelhouse.

I wouldn’t worry about November . The polls all show the bes t candidate’s way up and the polls are always right.

fintail > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 13:21

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I never said nothing happened. For all you know, those guys with backpacks are strolling around 5 miles away.   

Let me guess, another entitled coddled lucky generation member who cashed out in CA real estate and moved to AZ to flee taxes. Your wheelhouse.

Although both are garbage, t he best candidate this time around certainly isn’t the incumbent, unless one enjoys hypocrisy, fascism, and corruption.

RPM esq. > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 13:21

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Why would you feel unsafe in Seattle right now, and what possible connection is there to policing a border a thousand miles away? I live in Seattle and feel perfectly safe anywhere in the city . The one exception might be that I think our police department is a little het up right now so I’d rather not have to interact with them at the moment.

This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: > nermal 06/11/2020 at 13:36

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I'm sorry, but that is genuinely hilarious.

This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 13:39

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Is this reality? Am I in a coma?

DipodomysDeserti > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 14:12

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She knows that it’s moving it’s trying to gtfo and can’t really strike. Guns are for people, deer and elk.

WiscoProud > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/11/2020 at 15:38

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I’ve gotten those on facebook. I make sure to fill them out according to my commie liberal ideals. 

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > DipodomysDeserti 06/11/2020 at 22:17

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The rule out here, pretty consistently is, “don’t mess with the snakes if they rattle and go on their way”. But, if they are “the silent type”, especially the ones that suddenly roll into sidewinder mode without provocation? It’s going to end badly for the snake. Everybody out here’s got a sidearm loaded with birdshot, for that case.

I found one awhile back curled up under the hood of my Impala, IN THE HANGAR, and he got very aggressive. Fast. I’ve also got concern for my pup— who is blind and will fare not-so-great in a snake encounter.

Again, your mileage may vary.  We’re pretty “on our own” out here-- draw a line between the old mine in Bisbee and Douglas.  Guys with planes, cars and toys.

DipodomysDeserti > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 22:38

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No joke, I was in the middle of teaching an online biology class a few months ago and my neighbor starts banging on my door. She tells me that there’s a snake in her neighbor’s driveway and they don’t know what to do (apparently I’m the neighborhood snake guy). First thing I ask is if it’s rattling, and she says no. I tell my students to hold on, and run to said driveway where two abuelas are on the roof of their car pointing towards the snake. It’s a harmless Arizona groundsnake which I retrieve, show my students, then put in my garden. This was in the middle of Phoenix. My wife was taking some grad photos in the mountains at the end our street a few months ago and came across a huge gopher snake. Homeboy  was several feet long.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > DipodomysDeserti 06/11/2020 at 22:44

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And, no, I’m not a “California transplant”. Went to grad school there, did Silicon Valley-ish business for 20 years in and out of SFO, SJC and Oakland, and have kept a house in Montecito for about 10 years. But never a resident, despite living all over the west. I’ve lived all over the country, but have a clearly stated bias for “west of the Rockies”.

The Bisbee thing is pure “ultimate man cave”— planes, cars, projects, electronics— and stars like most people have never seen.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > DipodomysDeserti 06/11/2020 at 22:47

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Mostly with the snakes it’s “live and let live”, but I do worry about the dog.  BTW I’d actually never seen jave lina before spending time out here.

They are kind of amazing...

DipodomysDeserti > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/11/2020 at 23:19

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“ and stars like most people have never seen.”

You get it. There’s something about this desert. Some people get it, others don’t.

Javalinas are something. Rat pigs. Saw a huge one this past winter while driving my kids to school in the middle of Phoenix. My brothers amd I once got chased through the desert by a pack of the. If Palo Verde ever melts down, the only thing left in this valley will be javelinas, coyotes and scorpions.

Josh - the lost soldier > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/12/2020 at 00:49

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I initially signed up for updates from Trump’s campaign because the r allying letters, particularly the ones “signed” by Trump, were quite hilarious, but now it’s gotten quite sad and desperate. Over the course of the pandemic, the tone shifted from one of triumph to one of near-defeat, as if Trump’s camp is facing the very real possibility of losing in November.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Josh - the lost soldier 06/12/2020 at 06:44

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It’s not The Onion but it sure reeks like one